(KAYSVILLE)
In a move that has many in the neighborhood puzzled, token ward democrat Steve Boswell has been occupying the Kaysville, UT, Bishop’s Storehouse on 300 West Street for over three days and two nights, as of Wednesday.
Boswell, the only liberal-leaning member ever to exist in his Kaysville stake’s boundaries since its 1894 inception, took to camping out on the lawn of the building after hinting to fellow ward members on Sunday that he was going to “take on our own Goliaths.”
“Well,” a scruffy, weather-beaten Boswell said, while fixing a tent stake that had popped out of the building’s frost-covered front lawn, “I wasn’t doing much at home and I was all jazzed about the whole Occupy Wall Street thing. I just wanted to show my support. I didn’t have the gas money, or the car, for that matter, to make it to Salt Lake, so I just decided to go local, you know?”
Asked why he chose the Bishop’s Storehouse, Boswell responded, “I was just looking for a retail establishment of some sort, you know, a symbol of capitalism’s hold on our consumer-driven society. The only thing close enough was the local grocery store, but they have pretty tight security in their parking lot area and I didn’t want to get permanently kicked out of there – I have to shop somewhere, you know? The storehouse was here and I just decided that it isn’t where you are exactly as it is what you stand for.”
Sister Marsha LaGrue, a Church employment specialist and part-time custodian at the storehouse, first noticed Boswell when she came to meet another person referred to her for job assistance. Boswell, who was huddled in his tent for shelter from the biting December wind, exited his temporary domicile and, holding a sign, chanted loudly across the lawn.
“I think I was shouting something about how the banks and mortgage brokers should pay back the money they stole from us, the American taxpayer. Or it may have been something about Afghanistan. I don’t remember.”
“I couldn’t hear what he was yelling. The breeze was really gusty and kind of blowing his voice away. I thought I had left my car lights on or something, but then I saw that he had a tent pitched on the grass and that he was holding a sign. I think it had a big ‘OBS’ on it, whatever that means.”
Continued LaGrue: “I then noticed that it was Brother Boswell. I’m not in his ward, but I’d helped him try to find employment a few months back, before he stopped looking for work. I called the stake president and he said it was okay for Brother Boswell to have his tent there as long as it moved it around to avoid killing the grass.”
When asked if he thought it was inconsistent to target an establishment that fed the poor and sought to find people gainful employment, Boswell replied, “Yeah, I know about that, but at least here I can stay in the tent, go home and feed the dog every day, and sometimes Marsha brings out a doughnut for me. Besides, maybe if I stay around here long enough, I’ll hear of a job opening – something to go along with my cultural anthropology degree, you know?”
The Beehive Buzzsaw 